Satirical Essays On High School

It’s senior year, that one last push of high school before it comes time for college and adulthood. Senior year is my last year of carefree, teenage fun; I need to cherish it as much as possible before the time runs out. What better way to do that than to appreciate every test and piece of homework benevolently bestowed upon me?

Just yesterday, my teachers informed me that I have two essays to finish, a project to work on, several worksheets due, and a test to study for this weekend, even though the deadline for my college applications is approaching. What a joy! This is just another experience as a senior; sleepless nights, broken pencils, and anxiety over the future. I absolutely love it.

After all, I have loads of time to complete each assignment alongside my college applications, and if I cut out sleeping, I will gain an extra eight hours. I mean, why sleep when I can be having so much fun writing a five page essay on Hamlet’s indecisiveness, along with a 650-word personal statement about a place where I am perfectly content –I’m writing about a studious, homework-filled classroom, of course.

So many of my peers seem to complain about all the stress and anxiety they feel as seniors, having to deal with the mundane duties of homework when they are busy trying to determine their future through Common App. They mutually agree that teachers should give less homework, especially during the main deadline months of November, December, and January.

It’s preposterous that they would suggest this. That extra essay and set of math problems are essential for preparing us for the future!

To be honest, the best part of whole year has got to be first semester. Several colleges I am applying to required me to send my applications by December 1 so that I can qualify for scholarships. Better yet, the UC application deadline was on November 30, although it had to be turned in earlier since the server often gets clogged.

The fun doesn’t end there, though. I also have to read three novels, annotate an entire packet of poetry, study stock markets, solve 50 calculus problems, write articles, and even make a newspaper layout. This workload is really not a problem.

In fact, it has some major benefits; my multitasking skills are off the charts and I can proudly pull an all-nighter with only Lipton tea and some minty gum. These are definitely worthwhile talents for the future.

Homework and tests are the best part of senior year in my opinion; they exemplify the true spirit of Diamond Bar High and its academic rigor. It absolutely does not matter if my AP Literature essay deadline on conflicts with my university application deadline.

In several months I will be graduating soon; my time as a high school student is limited, so the only way I can truly appreciate my senior year is to smile and embrace the tasks at hand. Now, with finals approaching, I feel even happier.

Satirical Essay: Keep the Good Students in School, and Enslave the Bad Students

889 Words4 Pages

Some of the brightest young students at this school are faced with a growing problem. In class there are disruptive and downright rude students who do not contribute to the learning environment. These bad students are a terrible influence to the rest of the school community, those who don’t care about their education are more likely to get involved with violence and gangs. Some of these students are simply “un-teachable” and are a waste of time and space, overcrowding the school and ruining its reputation. We must heed the saying “A rotten apple will spoil the whole barrel.” After all, what will become of these worthless people in the future? I hereby suggest a proposal to eliminate all of these social ills, make use of high school…show more content…

Judging by how many students are unwilling to take school seriously, there will never be a shortage of such laborers. If any defiant workers refuse to offer labor, they will be executed and their place reserved for some other compliant ex-student, there are too many people anyway. The economy will certainly benefit from this mass-production and the US will be recognized as one of the most prestigious and prosperous nations in the world, producing some of the most brilliant, top-notch scholars. This solution will provide a higher-quality education for the rest of the students in the future. As contrast to what could be, here is an example. Last year I attended an English class here at Arroyo full of students who’d given up on learning, preferring to fool around during class. The teacher had simply given up on “us” (or the troublesome ones), the class was rowdy, out of control most of the time. If only this plan was in effect at that time! The teacher could have taught class uninterrupted without having to waste class time rebuking those annoying twerps. With this proposal in effect, class sizes would be smaller and there would be less disruption so teachers would have more one-on-one time helping students worthy of their time. The learning environment/peer influence would improve, resulting in better performance, even the school’s standards would be set

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